Agent training for dummies
by Florasaurus
Summary: Bella is left alone with Emmett and Jasper when Edward is hunting for the day. She discovers an 'Agent training for dummies' book and Emmett and Jasper suddenly decide to have an actual agent day. But how much trouble can they actually make in one day?
1. Izzy, Jazzy and M&M time

Agent training for dummies.

Eclipse-breaking dawn.

Izzy, Jazzy and M&M time.

I hated it when Edward left to go hunting for the weekend. I had either absolutely, nothing interesting to do, or Alice came and kidnapped me until he came home. This pretty much equalled as the same thing as I found nothing interesting in looking at pictures of flowers and trying to get a word in edgeways. Alice's version of kidnapping is probably worse then human kidnapping. She insists on torturing me with make-up and clothes for no apparent reason. And now it's twice as worse (if that is humanly possible…of course it's not, it's inhumanly possible, vampire style) with all the wedding plans.

It seems to me that Alice has forgotten a few of the main traditions in weddings. But obviously, we are forgetting about traditions anyway. It's not exactly traditional for an Eighteen year old girl, to marry a one hundred and eight year old vampire, just so she can be changed into a vampire. But there are still main requirements for the planning of the wedding, and the wedding itself. First, the bride is meant to be awake for most of the planning and the wedding. I sleep for about five hours at night, before Alice is there at six in the morning, waving pieces of papers and pictures in my face. Second, not everything has to be designer or encrusted in some sort of jewel, to look good (When I said this to her, she might've passed out if she was a human). And mainly, the bride and groom have to actually agree to a large quantity of the decisions. I have objected to pretty much all of Alice's ideas, yet she goes along with them and tells me that 'it's what Edward would want', even though he tells me that he wants nothing more then to elope in Las Vegas.

But whenever he says that, I see the real Seventeen year old in 1917, who wants to marry the girl he has waited for and loves, and to invite everyone he knows. He always tried to hide his emotions from me, but his eyes give him away. He has always wanted for everything to be perfect, and in his book, a wedding is perfect. I love him far too much to let one day ruin his dreams of the perfect wedding. Whenever Edward gets excited about something with the wedding plans, Emmett finds it highly amusing that Edward is having more fun planning this then me. He figures that the girl should want nothing more then a massive wedding, and the boy shouldn't care about it. But it's quite the opposite for us.

We have barely had any time together since our time in the meadow. We are either being harassed by Alice, or travelling to millions of places such as, clothes shops, restaurants, wedding shops, even a garden centre. Edward has been so busy, trying to calm Alice down, and making sure that I am being fed and not fainting with exhaustion, that he hasn't had time to properly hunt. I noticed his eyes were pitch black yesterday and he swallowed every time he took a breath or spoke. I asked him about it and he told me not to worry. By now, I thought he would realise that all I do is worry. So I was grateful when Carlisle, Alice and Rosalie were going hunting and asked if he wanted to join them. At first he declined instantly, but I told him he should go. He was still wary when I told them he was definitely coming. He believes that I won't last without him for one weekend.

That's pretty much true. I didn't tell him that though, and pretty much walked him to the door and kicked him out. I hate him to be uncomfortable because of me. But now he's gone, I have no idea what to do. Since Alice has gone hunting too, I am left with 2 days of freedom. I thought I would be exceptionally excited about 2 days of non-wedding related activities. But it turns out, there is absolutely nothing to do. Angela and Ben are enjoying their weekend in camping, doing what Alice and Edward were supposedly doing. And Jessica and Mike were-Well I have no idea what they were doing and I don't really care. I would much rather spend an hour stuck in quicksand, then do something with one of them. The one person I needed and wanted in this situation wasn't available. He was somewhere in Canada, running around as a wolf, away from me and Edward. Running away from the wedding. I don't blame him. I could never do that. I simply miss him. I miss his bone crushing hugs. I miss his sarcastic remarks. I miss my sun that clears away all the bad and makes me smile.

Jake.

Whenever I think of him, I feel guilty and ashamed and miserable. Ironically, he was like my own little puppy. I could talk to him about things like I couldn't with anyone else, I could play with him and he'd cheer me up like no-one else could. But then he ran away from home. He ran from the strange person he didn't like. He ran from the changes that could and **would**, alter our friendship. I-

"Bella? What on earth are you thinking about that is making you feel so upset?" I turned around and saw Jasper, leaning against the doorway, staring at me. I was sat on Edwards's sofa, snuggled up with the gold coverlet that I took off the bed. I sat up and wiped at my eyes to find tears there. I didn't realise I had been crying. Jasper took in my tears and looked worriedly at me. He walked quickly over to me and kneeled next to the sofa. Jasper, Emmett and Esme were the only ones staying home to watch me. I don't see the need for 3 vampires to watch guard over me now that Victoria has been taken care of. But I do enjoy the company when Edward isn't here, so I don't moan too much.

"What's the matter? You were feeling fine but slightly stressed and then all of a sudden you were overwhelmingly upset. I was playing a video game with Emmett and suddenly felt very sad for the man I just squished with my car." He said, attempting to cheer me up. It worked to an extent, I chuckled quietly and sighed. Jasper and I had gotten quite close recently. He has been working in overload to keep Alice from exploding with excitement, and me and Edward from killing her. Jasper tries to stay with me more when he can. He says he barely notices the thirst anymore, but I know he still suffers. I smiled weakly at him and took a deep breath.

"I'm ok Jasper. I'm just…thinking." He looked at me and a wave of calm hit me and wiped all the sad away. I smiled at him.

"Thanks Jasper. You can go though, really. I'll probably be no fun. And I don't want you to hurt because of me." He grinned at me and shook his head.

"No Bella, I want to spend some time with my little sister while you aren't with Edward or Alice. By the way, the pain? Totally inconsequential when it comes to hanging out with you. And besides, Emmett is losing so badly, it's almost no fun to pummel him today." He said while smirking. He suddenly grinned and his eye twinkled. He stood up and grabbed my hand. I looked at him quizzically.

"Let's go find something fun to do! There's no way you're spending your two days of freedom, sat there 'thinking'." He pulled me to the door and I didn't resist. I really did need something to do and Jasper seemed to have an idea. We walked downstairs towards the living room, towards where some ambulance noises came from. I looked around to see that Emmett was attempting to play with both controllers and killing both of his people while doing so. Jasper and I sat down and laughed at Emmett. In the space of two minutes, he had lost four lives. After crashing into the wall for the last time, he threw one controller at the wall and crushed one in his grip. This made us laugh even harder. He turned around and was glaring. But when he saw how we were both laughing at him, he grinned and stood up.

"Hello Bella. Have you come to test your skills of car racing?"

"No, she's not. I don't think Bella is a fan of high speeds." Jasper said glancing at me. "She prefers to actually drive _under_ the speed limit!" Jasper said in mock horror. I smirked at him and shrugged my shoulders. The entire Cullen family didn't seem to grasp why I hated to drive at a Hundred miles an hour in a Ferrari or something similar. I much prefer to go at normal speed, in my Chevy.

"She was actually looking for something to do. She was sat there, just staring outside." He didn't mention I was crying, and for that I was grateful.

"Soooo…what? You wanna play a video game? We do have a large choice." Emmett said gesturing to the large bookcase filled with games. Normally, I really didn't like video games, but it was something fun to do with my future brothers, so I decided to look at what games they had. I stood up and walked over to browse their enormous collection. They really did have everything. Indiana Jones, King Kong-

"Agent training for dummies? Whose is this?" There was a book wedged in between two games so I took it out to have a look. I looked at Emmett and Jasper who shrugged. Then they looked at each other and grinned. Suddenly Jasper stood up and starting humming mission impossible. Emmett grabbed his mobile phone and opened it, narrowing his eyes and looking around the room comically.

"Agent Jazzy, come in. I repeat, agent Jazzy come in." He grinned at me then, looked at Jasper, waiting for him to reply. Jasper scowled at Emmett and crossed his arms.

"You can't call me Jazzy. Only Alice can do that." Emmett rolled his eyes and shrugged.

"Yes, but you're not _just _Jazzy now are you? You're agent Jazzy. There's a big difference." I smiled and Emmett did the same while Jasper sighed and shrugged. He nodded and went back to 'agent Jazzy mode'.

"Agent Jazzy here, what's going down Agent M&M?" Jasper had pulled the top of his jacket up and talked into it. He smirked when he talked to Emmett. In return Emmett scowled at his agent name.

"I found the incredibly weird danger magnet! She seems to look slightly amused and confused. She's probably under strict instructions not to do anything at all remotely fun."

"Yes, the evil Eduardo has brainwashed her into doing anything he says!" I figured out what they were talking about. I was the incredibly weird danger magnet.

"I do not do anything he says!" I said, annoyed that they said I was incredibly weird and that I was brainwashed. They both snickered and shook their heads. I decided that I wouldn't get anywhere arguing with them, so I decided to join them. Like the saying goes, if you can't beat them, join them. I put my hand in my pocket and turned away from them.

"Agent Jazzy, she appears to be annoyed by us. Maybe we are not being super fun after all." I grinned at that and turned back around putting on a serious face. I decided to try and get them to teach me how to do all the cool secret agent rolls and moves.

"Ok, busters. I have no idea why you are talking through phones, when I can clearly hear you and you can hear each other. You really should've thought that through." They both grinned and laughed. I pulled my hand out of my pocket and pointed it at them in the shape of a gun. "I want the secret info on the book. I need to know how to be like James Bond." They both laughed loud at this. I snickered myself but was enjoying this far too much to stop now. I pointed my hand at Emmett and made a bad shooting sound. He caught on quickly and stopped laughing, clutching his arm. He moaned and dashed out of the room for two seconds before returning with his arm all red. He had obviously coated his arm in tomato ketchup, to look like blood.

"OWWW. You are obviously not the elusive danger magnet! Tell us what you are called and we will teach you the ways of Kung-I mean we will teach you how to kick butt, agent style!" I laughed and tried to think of a cool name.

"I am…Izzy! Nice to meet you M&M and Jazzy. I hope you teach me some really cool stuff." I said while grinning and winking at them both. They were both still laughing at my new name.

"Ahem, are you going to teach me or am I going to have to shoot my '**hand gun'**?" I said while rolling my eyes. Jasper suddenly stopped laughing and looked at me gravely. I looked at him in panic.

"Oh no Bella. You've got Emmett's sense of humour." He said then smirked at me and Emmett. Emmett narrowed his eyes and scoffed. I let my hand go back to normal and lowered it.

"Ok, that's enough _IZZY._ I need to clean my arm now. This absolutely stinks. Jazzy, start her 'agent training' while I get un-shot." He said as he turned to leave. I looked at Jasper and grinned.

"Izzy?" He asked disbelievingly. I laughed and shrugged.

"It was all I could think of. I didn't wanna be normal 'Bells'." I said walking over to him. He rolled his eyes.

"So you really wanna learn 'agent' stuff? We don't actually know a great deal at all, we only know a few rolls and stuff. But we do have some walkie talkies that we could use, and we could set up a 'mission'?" I grinned and nodded eagerly.

"That's a great idea agent Jazzy, and we could actually dress up like agents and the mission thing would be really cool. I always loved spies and stuff when I was a little kid, and always wanted to do a secret mission." I said excitedly. Jasper laughed and shook his head.

"Ok then Bell-"

"It's Cullen. Izzy Cullen." I said in a serious voice. Jasper laughed really loud and threw his arm over my shoulder.

"You really are weird _**Izzy**_. If we wrote down just a few of your accidents and stuff that you've done, we'd have a number one book on our hands." He said with a cheesy grin. Then he turned thoughtful and raised his hand to his chin with a playful gleam in his eyes.

"Hmm…actually-"

"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT JASPER." I said glaring at him. He sighed in mock sadness and chuckled quietly. Emmett walked in, took one look at my face and burst out laughing. I looked at him in confusion and then looked at Jasper questioningly but he just grinned and looked pointedly at Emmett.

"Emmett, what on earth is so funny about me?" I asked angrily. He looked at me and raised his eyebrows.

"Hmm ok funny things about you. You're in love with a vampire, you are friends with a wolf, you fall over particles of air, you-" I felt a twinge of the pain from before at the mention of Jake, but I felt calm replace it as soon as I realised I was even feeling pain. I smiled thankfully at Jasper and he nodded slightly.

"EMMETT. I meant now."

"It's just so very funny when you try to be 'angry'. You look like…Edward describes you as a kitten trying to look like a tiger, but even that is scarier. You are more like a bunny rabbit trying to attack a wall. It's so cute and completely pointless." He and Jasper snickered and I sighed and rolled my eyes, knowing that it would do no good trying to be angry again.

"Just you wait until I'm not a puny little human."

"Aha! So you admit you are puny and little!" Emmett said which made him and Jasper laugh even more.

I went and sat down. Jasper and Emmett were still stood chuckling, and would probably stay there all day if I didn't say something.

"So agent Jazzy and agent M&M, what are we doing?" All of a sudden, they were sat down with me.

"Well we need agent clothes, gadgets and a mission. You can't be an agent without some top secret mission. Ah, and we definitely need some theme music. Maybe like the pink panther theme tune or something." Jasper raised his eyebrows and shook his head.

"Pink panther theme tune? Really? I don't think so. But we do need clothes, gadgets and a 'mission'. Bell-I mean Izzy, can you go an ask Esme for a 'mission' while we get the stuff? She should be in the garden." I grinned and nodded. I loved my new name. I couldn't believe we were actually going to do this. It only started of as a joke, but the two biggest kids in the world decided to actually do it. I was just excited to be a part of it with my soon-to-be big brothers. They both looked at me and waited.

"Now?"

"Duh! When did you think we meant? Next week?" They both shooed me away and I went in search of Esme. I really hoped she would have an idea on what to tell us. She already seemed like a mother to me, and she already did to Emmett and Jasper, so she should understand their childlike games. This 'mission' would be really fun. I'm just wondering how far they will actually take this…


	2. Your mission, if you choose to accept it

Your mission, if you choose to accept it…

I walked to the garden, smiling. I was excited about this. If this was with anyone else, I wouldn't have gone through with it. But I can't help but get excited and join in with Emmett and Jasper. I walked outside looking for Esme. It was sunny outside, so I figured it wouldn't be too hard to see her sparkle in the light. But I couldn't see her anywhere. I stopped to see if I could hear her, but it's pretty much pointless to try and listen to a vampire. I was just about to turn around and go tell Jasper and Emmett I couldn't find her, when she appeared in front of me. She was wearing a black suit with sunglasses. I almost didn't recognise her at first. I was just about to ask her what she was doing when-

"Agent Izzy. Welcome to the secret meeting place. I have been informed by Agent M.A.G.I.C. to give you this." She glanced around to see if there was anyone lurking. Obviously just a show, vampires don't need to look around to know when someone is about. I was confused to who M.A.G.I.C. is. I couldn't work it out. This was quite entertaining though. Esme was being an 'agent'. I've never ever seen her act like this. She pulled a brown envelope out from her jacket and held it out.

"Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to do whatever is in this envelope. I have not been informed to what's inside. Agent Jazzy and Agent M&M do not know also. Do you accept?" She asked very seriously, but I could see a hint of a smile playing on her mouth.

"I do…what's your name?" I asked trying to be serious but in the end gave up and grinned widely. Esme let a small smile escape before turning back to her 'agent' role.

"I am Agent Hunchback. Now go, before we are noticed." I chuckled at her agent name. Again, I had no clue what the reason behind it was. She ushered me away before she disappeared. I looked at the brown envelope in my hand. It was surprisingly heavy and was marked 'ONLY FOR AGENTS OF THE CULLEN ORGANIZATION'. I smiled at the fact they already counted me as part of the Cullen family. I walked back to the living room to find Emmett and Jasper looking at the sofa. It was covered in black suits, sunglasses, walkie talkies, other electronic nonsense and shoes. They both turned and looked at the envelope in my hand. I grinned at them.

"Lookie here fellow agents. Our first mission. Only for agents of the Cullen organization. This was given to me by Agent Hunchback, at the secret meeting place, who got this from Agent M.A.G.I.C." I waved it around in front of me and looked at them. They were also grinning and Emmett was rubbing his hands together. I suddenly wondered where all the clothes and stuff were from. I wouldn't be surprised if they had a secret stash of agent stuff, but if they did, I probably would've already seen them. Emmett likes to dress up in anything he can get his hands on. He would probably be an ace Barbie for Alice except he would tear all the clothes just trying to fit in them. I should suggest that to Alice. Maybe she could go shopping with him to some kind of monster size clothes shop. She might leave me alone for awhile. And pigs can fly. Actually, they might do. Emmett probably would make one. I would probably stand here daydreaming all day, if I didn't actually do something.

"Where did all this stuff come from?" Emmett sighed and raised his eyebrows. Of course!

"Alice." I said like it was obvious. Which it was really. Of course she had seen this and couldn't resist going shopping for us. Emmett nodded while Jasper simply chuckled and shrugged.

"Well? Are we gonna crack this baby open or what?" Emmett said staring at the envelope. He was getting more excited every passing minute.

"This is our mission, if we choose to accept it. Do we? And if not I already said yes so it doesn't matter really." I said and stuck my tongue out at them. They snickered and I didn't wait for an actual response. I opened the envelope and pulled out what looked like some kind of screen. As soon as I pulled it out, a video started playing. Emmett and Jasper were suddenly behind me, watching over my shoulder. The screen looked like it was barely lit, until I noticed that someone was there in the darkness, and the lights were probably lit like that to mask them. When the voice spoke, it was very high and squeaky, sort of like when someone uses a pitch changer or something. However, even though I couldn't hear their actual voice, they sounded bored.

"Hello Agents. I am Agent Lily. I am guessing you have chosen to accept your mission, so here it is. You must kidnap and convince Charlie Swan that you are agents and are protecting him from Disney characters that have come to life and turned evil, who have joined the people who are dressed as food who are also evil." We all just stared at the screen. "This is just the first part of what you are required to do today. You will receive more tasks as you finish another task. Good luck agents and…don't screw this up. This will self-destruct in five seconds." I dropped it and stepped away from it, expecting a boom or explosion of some sort. But it simply lit on fire and crumbled to ash. I had no idea how on earth it could do that. It was a screen. How was it programmed to light on fire? We were still staring at the ashes, absorbing what we were just told. I heard someone snicker and looked to see who it came from. Emmett and Jasper were holding back laughs. I suddenly realised the hilarity of this and had to hold back laughs myself. I grinned at them both as they looked at me and we all burst out laughing. I was laughing so hard, it was difficult to even breathe. Emmett was leaning against the wall laughing and Jasper was sat on the sofa laughing the loudest, which was surprising as Emmett was really loud. Of course, he must be feeling his own amusement, and mine and Emmett's as well. Emmett was trying to speak while laughing hysterically. He didn't get much out. I only understood a few words.

"Evil…Disney…food…people…Charlie." He gave up after that and just continued laughing. I tried to take deep breaths to calm myself down. It worked to an extent. I was still chuckling though while Emmett and Jasper were still laughing loudly. I sat down and looked at the 'agent' stuff on the sofa.

Now I properly looked at everything, I could see everything was designer. I sighed and shook my head. Trust Alice to buy designer everything that will be used probably one time. There were two black suits for Emmett and Jasper and a black skirt and jacket for me supposedly. Next to them were three pairs of really dark black sunglasses…all dolce and gabbana. Next to them were three little ear pieces. Of course. Alice would much rather buy actual ear pieces for our 'mission' than some little walkie talkies. Here I was thinking that Emmett and Jasper would be the ones to take it too far, but Alice had completely gone over the top. And she wasn't even here. Below them were –obviously- little microphones to go on the inside of our jackets. Alice had probably bought us better equipment, then actual agents. I wouldn't be surprised if she borrowed them from the CIA or something. I wouldn't be surprised if she **worked **for the CIA. I stood up and picked up my outfit. I turned around to see Emmett and Jasper doing the same. They both held the clothes up and I laughed. They both turned and looked at me quizzically.

"Emmett's suit looks like something that the hulk would wear compared to other suits." I snickered and shook my head. Emmett scowled at me and Jasper grinned and looked at Emmett's suit.

"Huh. A vampire hulk. That's pretty good Izzy." He said chuckling. I walked past them towards the stairs. I walked to Edward's room and closed the door behind me and got changed into my agent outfit. I was feeling really hyper and excited and worried and angry all at the same time. Jasper must think I'm going mad. But I was just exceptionally excited to see how this would play out. I was slightly angry at Alice for buying all this unnecessary stuff, but thankful that she did as now we could do this properly. I feel like the worlds richest kid. I want to play like a little child with my big brothers and I get the best clothes and toys. All for some silly little pretend mission. Well, a lot of work had obviously been put into this, and I really wanted to actually do this. I wasn't going to pass this up because Alice had gone shopping (Ok normally I would be tempted to do just that, but I really wanted to spend some time with my soon-to-be brothers).

I was dressed in my outfit, and discovered Alice left some black shoes on Edward's sofa. I walked over to them and picked them up. They were black with heels. Not really high heels, but still high enough to be a danger to me. I put them down and walked to my place in Edward's wardrobe. He had insisted that I have some of my clothes and shoes in there, just in case I want them. And of course they had to be Alice approved. This was the first time I'd actually used them. I looked where the shoes normally were, and found that they had all gone. I gritted my teeth and was just about to turn back around, when I spotted a note. I picked it up and read it:

Bella, wear the damn shoes! You won't fall over! I swear! They were professionally designed and took months to do! So either wear them, or I will take you shopping to refill your wardrobe with new clothes! Good. You wear them. Sorry for the threat but you really have to wear these. Oh and tell Emmett he owes me a new pair then.

Love ya. Alice.

I breathed in deeply and walked back over to the shoes. Alice said I wouldn't fall over in them. She swore. She was hardly ever wrong. In fact…she was never wrong. So I had to trust her. And anyway, that shopping trip did sound scary. I picked up the shoes, sighed, and put them on. I walked over to the mirror and looked at my reflection. I didn't look entirely bad. The skirt was knee length and the jacket had silver diamante stones near the collar. I wondered what Alice meant by 'tell Emmett he owes me a new pair'. Most likely, he would break something later on. I walked back downstairs to see Emmett and Jasper fighting over what seemed to be the remains of some sunglasses. Jasper had Emmett pinned to the ground.

"You idiot! Look, you broke them!" Emmett was just about to speak when I coughed to get their attention. They both stopped wrestling and looked up at me. I smiled and shook my head. They both stood up and scowled at each other. I suddenly realised that they were both dressed too. The suits seemed to fit them perfectly. I started speaking while walking over to the sofa and taking a seat next to the ear pieces and microphone thingies.

"Boys, this isn't how fellow agents treat each other. They make small talk and look shifty." I grinned and motioned to them both. They were smiling at me. I narrowed my eyes at them both. "What?"

"You just seem so…normal and fun. Whenever Edward is around you are either stuck to him or being told what and what not to do by him." Jasper grinned even more widely and shrugged. Emmett nodded.

"Yeah, just like a little sister should be! Not caring about anything but having fun with her favourite brother!" He said pointing to himself. I laughed and Jasper looked at Emmett who was whistling, trying to act innocent. Jasper simply shook his head and pointed to his face while smiling sweetly. I chuckled and pointed to them both.

"I can't pick a favourite because that's simply impossible." I suddenly worked out what Alice meant from her note. I looked at Emmett and giggled.

"Alice said you owe her a new pair of sunglasses." Emmett looked confused and looked around the room.

"What? Is she here? Alice? I didn't break them! Jasper did!" I laughed and shook my head.

"No, Emmett. Alice is not here. I just read it in a note she left me." He sighed in relief and smiled.

"Wow Emmett. You were really scared then. Is my wife intimidating?" Jasper said while smirking at him.

"YES! Have you actually met her? She's like an evil tinkerbell! She threatens me with torture, like shopping for a week!" He suddenly had a look of fear on his face. I recalled what I was going to propose to Alice about going shopping with Emmett. Now I really think she would like it, especially when she hears what Emmet called her. I looked back at Emmett and smiled evilly. He looked confusedly at me and narrowed his eyes. He was just about to say something but I knew it would start some long argument, so I attempted to distract him.

"Anyway, let's start sorting this stuff out. How do you work them?" I said turning and gesturing to the ear pieces. They both grinned widely at this and Emmett rubbed his hands together. I grinned at the fact that Emmett was easily distracted.

"It's really simple. You just put the ear piece in your ear, duh, and put the microphone chip on the collar of your jacket." I did as his said and they did too. I listened to see if I could hear anything but I couldn't.

"HELLO?! DOES THIS WORK? CAN YOU HEAR ME?" Emmett yelled so loud my ears hurt. Jasper punched him in the arm and pointed to me. I was wincing and pulling out my ear piece.

"You idiot! You nearly deafened Bella! We are in the same room! If her ear drums burst, you can deal with Edward on your own!" Jasper shouted. Emmett looked at me and smiled apologetically. I smiled weakly in return.

"Sorry Bella." I nodded and waited while my hearing came back to normal. I shook my head to get try and get rid of the ringing in my ears. After a few minutes, I could hear normally again. I sighed in relief and nodded at them. Emmett exhaled loudly and Jasper scowled at him. I was just about to put my ear piece back in when I stopped and looked at Emmett.

"Before I put this back in, can you please try and remember that I don't have excellent surviving skills like you, so if my ear drums burst, I won't be able to repair them. Tone it down a little? A lot." Emmett nodded and I put the piece back in my ear. I stood up and all of a sudden both of them were gone. I looked around the room nervously and walked out to the hall.

"Guys? Why did you disappear? Where did you go?" I called out. I couldn't hear anything so turned for the stairs when I heard Emmett speaking softly.

"Bella? Can you hear me? I'm not too loud right? I hope so because I can't go any quieter." I chuckled and turned back around and walked to the living room again.

"Yes Emmett, that's fine. You can speak normally, just please don't shout again. I don't think my ears will live otherwise. Anyway, where have you and Jasper vanished?"

"We wanted to use our new toys in different rooms, or in different houses in our case."

"WHAT? YOU'RE IN A DIFFERENT HOUSE? WHO'S?"

"Whoa Izzy! You just said no shouting remember? And don't worry, I'm at your house and no-one's here, but I dunno where Jazzy is. Maybe you should ask him."

"Err, ok. Jazzy? Where are you?" I asked nervously. I heard a chuckle.

"Hiya Izzy. I am currently at Mike Newton's house. It really smells here." He chuckled again.

"WHAT? Jazzy! You can't-"

"Chill Bella. There's no-one here. I just wanted to see inside his house. I regret it now. It really does smell here."

"Ha-ha! Really? You should do something to freak him out when he returns!" Emmett said.

"No! Jazzy don't!"

"Hmm…no I agree Bella. We should give him a little payback."

"What? Payback? What for? He's never done anything to you!"

"No, you're right. He's never done anything to me _personally_, but he won't leave you alone. And he deserves a little payback for that. I, as your favourite big brother, am not going to let him get away with it. You can thank me after."

"Jazzy! Bribery? That's so unfair! I am the best brother EVERR and you can't replace me just by messing up Newton for a day or so!"

"We'll see about that."

"STOP YOU TWO! I don't have a favourite! You have to stop fighting or we will never get anywhere! Jazzy, M&M get back here now! If only one of you come back, it will be fairly obvious who my favourite is then!" I said, not really meaning the end part.

"NOOO. I'm coming!" Emmett screamed. I winced again and pulled out the ear piece again. Jasper suddenly appeared in the hallway, looking worried. He looked at the ear piece in my hand and rolled his eyes.

"Again?" He asked. I nodded angrily and suddenly grinned.

"Jasper, you're my favourite brother." Before I got brother out he rushed over to me to hug me.

"Yes! See, I knew I was the best!" I chuckled and hugged him back. Suddenly Emmett appeared in the hallway as well, narrowing his eyes at Jasper. Jasper pulled away and put his slung his arm around my shoulders.

"What did I miss? Why are you hugging her?" Emmett asked quizzically.

"I need a reason to hug my little sis?" Jasper said, grinning smugly at Emmett. Emmett cocked his head to the side confusedly. He looked at me suddenly. I bit my lip and froze. His eyes suddenly widened and he stared angrily at Jasper.

"You're her favourite now aren't you?"

"I might be. I might not have been if you hadn't screamed into the mike again! You nearly burst her ear drums, AGAIN!" Emmett looked at me and I nodded slightly and look at the floor.

"Humph. I am not going to let this faze me. I will be a better big brother! But…sorry again Bella. I forgot." I nodded and put my ear piece back in. I walked away from them into the living room. I sat down waiting for them to come in too, only to find them already sat down looking at me.

"Right, ok. How are we meant to…"I grinned and chuckled slightly. "…kidnap Charlie? He only comes home for lunch, and that's only if I call him to ask." They were chuckling too and Jasper was the first to reply.

"Well, it's quite simple really. We don't necessarily have to 'kidnap' him, per se. We could just drive him here to give him lunch and then tell him we are protecting him…from cartoon characters and food people." He said laughing through the last part. It sounded simple enough. Charlie likes the Cullen's, although he doesn't like Edward too much, so it won't be hard to get him to come with us. And he'll know it's me, so he will be able to trust me…although that trust might disappear when he realises we tricked him. I grinned and nodded and them both.

"Ok then. Let's go kidnap Charlie!" I laughed. Under any other circumstances, I would be scared by that sentence, but I can't help but smile now. I walked to the door which led outside and stopped in my tracks. There, next to Emmett's Jeep, was a shiny, new, black car. I scoffed then sighed and shook my head. Only Alice would buy a car for one pointless game. I was still gawking at it when I realised Emmett and Jasper were practically drooling over it. I scoffed again. I have a feeling that there is going to be a fight after all this on who gets to keep it. And Emmett and Jasper won't be the only ones involved. Edward probably wouldn't care if he got it or not. Rosalie would definitely love to have it. Alice wouldn't care either and neither would Esme. I would have to wait and see with Carlisle however. He always has to act as the father figure and do what's best, but on occasion he does use certain things to his advantage. For example, if everyone was arguing over something, he would keep the object of the argument, to 'keep the peace'. But really, it was obvious he really liked it.

"Hello? Izzy?" Jasper's quite voice broke me out of my reverie. I realised I had been stood there for a few minutes, just looking at the car. I walked over to it and raised my eyebrows at Emmett. He was stroking it lovingly. I grinned and couldn't hold back a small chuckle. He suddenly looked at me and scowled. He turned away from the car and muttered something incomprehensible.

"Aww sorry M&M. I can leave you two alone if you want?" I said smirking at him. He scowled at me again and rushed to get in the car. I turned to Jasper who suddenly burst out laughing.

"Well done Bel-I mean Izzy. You actually managed to embarrass Emmett. He usually has a not-so witty comeback, but this time he couldn't even manage that. You are definitely good for this family Izzy." I grinned at the sudden reminder that I was part of this family.

"So what type of car is this? It looks very…new." I said the last part sternly. Jasper rolled his eyes.

"It's a Lexus LS Sedan. It's not even out yet. Alice does go to extreme measures sometimes. You gotta love her for it though." I smiled in agreement.

"Of course, it would be far too easy to go in a car we already have, without spending probably more then my house is worth on another one." I said raising my eyebrows.

"Think about it this way. If we took Emmett's Jeep, everyone would assume that is in fact Emmett causing trouble, when we are all meant to be away. But if we take this car, the only thing people will be thinking is how much they want this car." Jasper turned back to the car and gestured towards the car door at the back.

"We are wasting precious time Izzy. We must go before it is too late!" He started humming mission impossible again and dashed to the side of the car and rolled over the bonnet, just like in the movies. He looked smug as he walked to the passenger door and climbed in. I grinned at him through the window and shook my head. I glanced at Emmett to see him grinning at Jasper as well, and I could just hear him talking to Jasper animatedly, no doubt telling him how cool that was. I really wanted to try and copy Jasper, but I knew that if I did, I would most likely ruin our fun day with me ending up in the hospital. I walked to the door behind Emmett's and climbed in. Emmett had stopped talking to Jasper, and looked at me.

"Ready Dizzy Izzy?" He smirked while I scowled at his name for me. I let it go however, because if I showed him how much it annoyed me, he would no doubt use it again. So I thought about what we would be doing today. I smiled and nodded at them both. Emmett turned back around and started the engine.

"Right then, let's go kidnap your dad!"


	3. Charlie's angels vampires

Charlie's angels/vampires.

"Right then Bella. You need to ring Charlie and ask him if he wants to come home for lunch…not that he has much choice in the matter. We could actually kidnap him if necessary." Jasper said, holding out a phone for me. I looked at it as if it were about to self destruct as well. Could I really do this? Could I really trick my dad? Would he go along with it? Jasper sighed and waved the phone in front of me.

"Bella, you don't have to feel nervous or worried. Emmett and I will do most of the talking if necessary and he will forgive you. We're not actually going to do **anything** to him. We are just going to _convince _him that there are evil Disney characters and food advertisers running around going berserk." He smirked and Emmett frowned.

"Food advertisers? Since when were they included in the plan? I thought we were just saying there were Disney characters and people dressed as food that were evil." Me and Jasper simply stared at him. He looked at us both and looked confused.

"What?" He said with a hint of frustration. Jasper closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Emmett…YOU'RE AN IDIOT. What on earth do you think food advertisers are?"

"Erm…People who work behind the tills at fast food restaurants and cafe's." I stared at him again and chuckled. He stared at me and scowled.

"What?" Jasper suddenly burst out laughing at the same time as me. Emmett suddenly got worked up and glared at us both.

"WHAT? WHAT IS SO FUNNY ABOUT WHAT I'M SAYING?" I winced as my ears were ringing again. Jasper stopped laughing and looked at me. He glowered at Emmett and a small growl formed in his chest.

"I am going to say this ONCE more. Edward WILL kill us both if he finds out YOU hurt Bella's ears. If he DOES find out, I will have no trouble in helping him with you. And also, food advertisers ARE the 'people who are dressed as food'." Jasper practically snarled the words at him.

I was very glad Jasper was with me today. Ever since the…accident on my birthday, he has protected me as if I was his real little sister. He says he feels what Edward and I feel, and he would do anything to keep that love continuing in the world. When you get past Jasper's hard, ex-army man exterior, he's just a hopeless romantic.

And obviously, I'm the weaker link in my new family (Yes, my new family. I still love it.) So I need more 'protecting'. Emmett on the other hand has nearly always got his mind in the gutter and rarely remembers I'm a human. He will probably be a lot more fun and annoying when I am a vampire. He refuses to believe that I will be able to beat him in a fight, even with my newborn skills. But Edward believes-no, he declared, that I would be able to beat him. I wouldn't be surprised if they have already bet on it. With the mention on betting, I was brought back to the present, with the two general suspects for any type of bet. I missed a lot of the argument when I was thinking, but I just caught the end of it.

"So now do you understand what food advertisers are and are not going to shout anymore?"

"Duh. I already knew what they were really, I was just testing you guys." Jasper scoffed and rolled his eyes. He turned back to me.

"Are you ok now? Edward can't murder us yet can he?" I grinned and shook my head. But then I stopped and scowled at Emmett. He smiled weakly and shrugged.

"Yep, Jasper is definitely my favourite right now. He is actually keeping me safe from being deaf." Jasper grinned widely and Emmett simply narrowed his eyes at Jasper and turned back around, to face the steering wheel. Jasper winked at me before handing me the phone I had forgotten about. With all the squabbling and being nearly deafened, I completely forgot my nervousness about what I had to do to Charlie. I swallowed my worries and dialled Charlie's work number. I held it to my ear and waited for someone to pick up. I prayed that he would answer and no-one else, otherwise I would be harassed with more wedding congratulations and questions. After the Fourth ring, someone picked it up.

"Chief Swan." I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Hey dad."

"Bells? Why are you ringing? Is something wrong? What happened? Where are-"

"DAD. Chill. Nothings wrong. I just wanted to see if you were coming home for Lunch. I'm bored at the Cullen's house so Emmett and Jasper are going to take me home to get some books and stuff and I was planning on making lunch while I was there." I smiled proudly at myself. It sounded like the truth for once. Wow, Emmett must be rubbing off on me. Next thing you know I'll be destroying the furniture and making fun of everyone.

"Oh. Good. Yes Ok. I didn't bring any food today and nothing is happening right now so I can take a break for a while. Emmett and Jasper are bringing you? No-one else?" I narrowed my eyes and squashed the want to rant on at him about how Edward is going to be my husband and how it is perfectly acceptable for him to take me places. He really doesn't get it. But if I was going to do this properly, then an argument probably wouldn't be the best thing right now.

"Yes, it's just Emmett and Jasper. Everyone else is _camping _remember?" I stressed camping and grinned at Emmett and Jasper who snickered in return. They always found it amusing when people thought they were camping. No clue why, but they did.

"Ok then Bells. I'll just tell the guys and I'll be there in half an hour." I smiled. This might actually work.

"Ok Ch-Dad. See you soon." I hung up and passed it back to Jasper. He took it back and I just stared at him, waiting for him to say something.

"So…what now? If we are actually planning on getting to my house, we might need to actually start the car." Emmett didn't say anything, he just started the engine. I raised my eyebrows but just fastened my seatbelt and waited for us to start driving.

"Well when we get there, we need to clear out most of the food." Jasper said while looking forward through the windshield. I looked at him confusedly. He still hadn't turned to look at me so I'm guessing he felt my confusion rather then saw it.

"You say there is no food and don't want to go buy more again for a while. So we could offer to take you to our house and say Esme is there so he can talk to her. We will subtly drop hints about the 'evil Disney characters and food advertisers' and our 'mission'. He will probably ask what we are talking about, so we pretend to be reluctant and then tell him that we are 'agents'. I'll calm him down to make sure he doesn't faint or anything and you can reassure him that it's true. And you can make him something to eat as well while we tell him this so he is more…agreeable." Instead of asking lots of endless questions, I just thought about it. They had obviously thought this through and have thought of how to make this easier and less suspicious. I wonder how he'll react when we tell him that we are agents protecting him from things that I loved in my childhood and people that he knows. It's probably good that Jasper is going to be here. I really think that Charlie might pass out or at least turn a few different colours. Also, his favourite food might help us persuade him to believe our lie.

With all of my thinking, I hadn't noticed that we were turning up onto the street which led to my house. Or my old house. Technically, I don't even own any hou-

"Izzy? Helloooooo? Earth to Izzy." I blinked and looked around to see Emmett and Jasper stood outside the car, with rather amused faces. With my rather pointless thoughts, I had again forgotten where we were. I rushed to get my seatbelt unfastened and basically fell out of the car. I stopped myself from falling completely, but to Jasper and Emmett it was still funny. They were trying their very best to keep from laughing, but I decided that it wouldn't matter anyway. I sighed and closed my eyes.

"Go ahead." I said nothing else and there was silence for a split second until they both burst out laughing. I sighed again and waited for them to shut up. I opened my eyes once they had quietened and rolled my eyes. I could simply blink at the wrong time and Emmett would find it funny. And then Jasper feels Emmett's amusement so thinks its funny as well and then projects the amusement back out and so on. It's an annoying cycle.

Once they had stopped laughing at my expense, I gestured towards the house door. They nodded and followed me inside. As soon as I walked inside, Emmett and Jasper were already pulling all the food out of the cupboards, the fridge and the freezer. There was a growing pile of tins of the counter, along with all the frozen food and the food from the fridge. I sighed at the food I made for Charlie to eat when he was on his own. It was all going to waste.

"You know, you're kind of going a bit over the top seeing as this is only a pretend mission. Funny, but over the top." I said while walking to the living room. I sat down and suddenly there were five black bags full with all the food, and Emmett and Jasper were stood behind them. I looked through them briefly and frowned at them both.

"Why is _all_ of the food in here? You only needed to get rid of the stuff that I could use for lunch. He'll get suspicious if all of a sudden every single piece of food we own disappears." I smirked as they looked stumped. But my smugness was cut short when Jasper suddenly came up with an idea.

"If he asks, and he will, where it all has gone, just say that Alice cleared everything out and wanted to go shopping for you. Some rubbish about healthy food for the wedding or something. It's entirely plausible as she has wanted to do that for a while anyway." I thought it through and agreed that it would be probably work. Alice never lets me eat any high calorie food or snacks anymore, which is pretty much my favourite food. And she only lets me drink water or maybe sometimes milk. Apparently, it's so I still fit my wedding dress on the day and my teeth aren't yellow, but I think she just doesn't like the look of my food. She only buys food that is pretty in her house. Or at least food that's been shipped overseas. Charlie already knows about this so it would be easy to convince him. I smiled as I realised how easy this would be to make Charlie believe us. I looked up and saw Jasper and Emmett snickering.

"What's so funny?"

"You! You space out for like five minutes and then either come back to earth with either a frown or a smile. Honestly, your human brains take so much longer to think while we've already thought of it and are thinking of a few other things at the same time." Emmett said. I scowled at him and crossed my arms.

"You **know** if it was up to me, my brain would already be like yours and I'd be making fun of 'pathetic human brains' as well."

"Hah! Again! You admit that you have a pathetic human brain! You're too easy to make fun of Izzy!" I scoffed and narrowed my eyes at him.

"You know, you're seriously not tipping the 'favourite big brother scale' in your favour." Emmett stopped laughing and looked at Jasper angrily.

"Jazzy! Come on! Let me win a little! My favourite sister is starting to dislike me!" Jasper was still grinning at the fact that he was my 'favourite'. Honestly, I still loved them equally, but Emmett was really annoying so I decided to give him a taste of his own medicine.

"Anyway, you need to get rid of the food. Charlie will be here soon." Emmett looked thoughtful for a minute, and then he smiled mischievously. I cocked my head to the side, confused. What is he going to do with the food?

"Emmett…what is going through your massive head right now?" Jasper said. I grinned and Emmett scowled at him, but then went back to mischievousness.

"Could we squish it? Could we just grab them all and squeeze until they are nothing but dust? I never ever get to do that anymore!" I scoffed and raised my eyebrows. That is such a lie. He has broken well over a hundred phones and well over two hundred game controllers recently. He sometimes doesn't mean to, but other times he's either showing off or trying to scare me.

"Ok fine, maybe I do it a little bit. _Sometimes. _I never get to do it to food though! It must be fun!" I sighed in despair. Honestly, Emmett's worse then a little child sometimes. I looked at Jasper and he shrugged. I sighed again and looked at Emmett warily. He was practically bouncing in place. Wow. Alice must be rubbing off on him. Ha-ha. Pixie Emmett. I chuckled and they both looked at me.

"Wow Emmett, you look just like Alice doing that. Maybe we should call you pixie Emmett instead." I smiled sweetly. Emmett stopped still and glared at me. Jasper was holding back laughs and shaking his head in amusement.

"Ugh fine Emmett. But don't do it here. And make sure you clean it up wherever you do it." Emmett rolled his eyes.

"Fine MUM." I narrowed my eyes and waved bye to him. He took the hint and, excitedly and angrily, took the food outside, with Jasper following. I took the time alone to go upstairs and get my books. I walked into my room and looked around for them. I picked up Wuthering heights and my CD player. I picked a few other random books and CD's and put them on my desk. I looked for a bag and found one under my bed.

I put my books and CD's in the bag and turned around to go back downstairs when I heard a muttering in my ear. I stayed still and listened.

"Emmett-you-idiot-hear-stop-Izzy-aah-." I frowned and pulled out the ear piece from my ear. I looked at it to see if it was broken and didn't notice anything different, so I put it back in. I listened to see if I could hear anymore noises.

"Jazzy-suck-I-fight-loser-hah." I frowned again and wondered what they were doing. I remembered about the microphone on my jacket so pulled my collar up to my face slowly.

"Err…guys? M&M? Jazzy? What's going on?" I listened for anymore noises and heard none so asked again.

"Hello? What are you doing? Are you ok?" I waited again for an answer but didn't hear any.

I was just about to walk out of my room to go find them, when someone tapped on my shoulder. I shrieked in shock and turned to see who it was. Emmett and Jasper were rolling around on the floor, laughing. I growled slightly at them which made them laugh even harder. I glared at them both before turning and walking quickly downstairs. I walked into the living room and sat down on the sofa and scowled at nothing in general.

They are the most annoying people ever! Hmm actually Mike, Jessica, Lauren, Alice…ok so they are _two _of the most annoying people ever!

My annoying scale was interrupted when I heard Charlie's cruiser pull up. I stood up quickly and looked up at the ceiling.

"M&M and Jazzy, I know you can hear me so get down here NOW." Suddenly they were stood next to me grinning. I gestured towards the door and they nodded seriously, all amusement from their face gone. I fully looked at them now. Before they left, they were dressed in spotless suits and shoes. Now they had food stains all over themselves. Red, brown, green and yellow were spotted along their shoes and clothes. Alice would not be pleased.

"Guys! What on earth did you do? Alice is gonna kill you!" They looked at each other sheepishly and shrugged at me. I rolled my eyes and went to stand in the kitchen. I waited for Charlie to come in. And waited. And waited. Eventually I got tired of waiting and went to see what he was doing.

He was stood in front of his car, staring at the brand new 'agent' car, jaw open and eyes wide. I looked over at two of the most annoying people I know and grinned. Well done Alice, Charlie will be so overcome with his love for the car, he'll barely notice what we are even saying.

"Ch-Dad? Sorry, I forgot to tell you. Alice cleared out all of our food because it's not 'suitable for the bride to be'." I muttered quickly. May as well get it out of the way quickly, I thought. My lying was very bad, but he didn't even notice. Like I predicted, he hadn't even realised I was speaking. He probably forgot I even existed. I sighed and walked over to stand in front of him, effectively blocking his view of the car. He blinked and looked at me. I smiled weakly and waved.

"Hello dad. Welcome back to planet earth. Did you catch anything I said?" He looked at the car sheepishly and back at me while shaking his head. I sighed again and looked at Emmett and Jasper for help. They rolled their eyes and walked over to us. I realised that they were still covered in food. I raised my eyebrow at their clothes and they simply shrugged again. Emmett looked at Charlie and grinned. Jasper was obviously holding his breath while plastering a smile on his face. He had good control around me recently, but with any other humans, he had to work a lot harder.

"Do you like my car sir? Its-"Jasper elbowed him and glared. Emmett sighed and nodded weakly.

"I mean, do you like my _family's _car? It was a gift."Charlie openly gawked at him and Jasper smirked at him. He was probably radiating jealousy and surprise. I cleared my throat and everyone looked at me. I shifted my weight uncomfortably and looked at the ground. I only intended to get Emmett's attention.

"Yeah…erm. Yeah, so we have to go to Edwards's house to get some food ok?" Charlie looked confusedly at me and I sighed in despair.

"This is the part where you completely ignored me. Alice has cleared all our food out because it's not suitable for the bride-to-be and she is going to buy some new food later. So we have to go to Edward's house to eat because their is Alice-approved food there." Charlie still looked confused and hesitant so I thought I should mention that Esme is there.

"Esme is there dad. You know, all the planning and stuff still goes on when Alice isn't here. She probably needs to talk to you about a few things." As soon as the word Esme left my mouth, he perked up considerably. He has a soft spot for Esme and Alice. Even though recently, with all the wedding planning, he has become more annoyed at Alice and more reluctant to see her. I can't blame him. If I had a choice in the matter, I would be leaving her to do everything on her own. She knows what everyone likes and if she doesn't know anything, she will get a vision. But obviously, everyone thinks that you actually need to be **involved **with your own wedding. But then again, everyone doesn't have a psychic best friend.

"Izzzzzy? Hello??? Earth to Izzy‼" I blinked and saw Emmett waving a hand in front my face and grinning in amusement. Jasper and Charlie were stood talking about cars, while Jasper kept glancing at me and chuckling quietly. I must've stopped listening again. I looked back at Emmett who was tapping a pretend watch on his wrist and tsking.

"Wow Bella, you were gone for about Five minutes. We need to go now. And operation convince-charlie-that-we-are-agents-and-evil-disney-characters-are-going-mental starts now." I rolled my eyes and walked towards Charlie and Jasper.

"So dad, ready to go?" He stopped talking to Jasper, looked at me and nodded.

"Sir, we have to go in my _family's _car, is that ok? Esme wouldn't let me bring my Jeep." Charlie nodded enthusiastically and walked towards the car. He looked at me and waited for me to get in.

"Go ahead dad, I just need to get my stuff." I walked inside the house and grabbed my bag.

"Jazzy and M&M can you come here for a moment? I need some…agent advice?" I said, feeling silly talking to no-one in an empty room. I waited for a few seconds and they appeared in front of me.

"Right, how are we going to convince him again? Because I can't exactly lie terribly well, as you know."

"Simple. We leave some plans of capturing the 'criminals' around the kitchen 'accidentally' and I will make him feel suspicious and curious, he'll ask and we'll be 'forced' to explain. I will make sure he feels believing and slightly scared."

"Yes that's all good and everything, but you forget, he's an officer of the law. He'll be able to check if we are lying and even if he can't prove that, he'll want to help look for them." Jasper looked stumped for a moment but then smiled.

"We are agents. We simply say that we will protect him at all costs and he shouldn't even know so he can't do anything about it." I looked back at Charlie unsurely and nodded weakly at Jasper. Emmett was suddenly at Charlie's side, getting in the car. Jasper walked to the car as well and I followed. I got in the back seat next to Charlie and suddenly thought of something. I leaned forward and whispered quietly as not to let Charlie hear.

"Remember, Charlie hates speeding, so you have to go at the speed limit. If he wouldn't hesitate to arrest Edward, he definitely wouldn't hesitate with you two." I smirked at their miserable faces and held back a laugh. The worst possible crime for the Cullen's. Going _at _the speed limit.

They grumbled a 'yes' and started the car. I leaned back and glanced at Charlie. He looked on edge and nervous. I looked at Jasper and cleared my throat silently. Jasper turned to me quickly and I looked pointedly at Charlie. He nodded and I felt a relaxing calm flow through the car. I breathed out a sigh of relief and sunk further into the seat. I looked at Charlie who seemed to be doing the same, and looking out of the window.

"Izzzzzzy. Hello. I'm bored. Can we go a teeny tiny bit faster?" I heard a very, very quiet Emmett speak quickly in my ear piece. Charlie seemed to be unobservant on his surroundings. I was quite surprised on how quiet he was being and how…not awkward it was with the silence. Well done Jasper.

"No Emmett. You can't. I really need to be convincing Charlie that you are all very good and well behaved and not at all like the things he seems to think Edward is. So no, you definitely can't." I whispered while turning away from Charlie. Emmett sighed loudly and Jasper looked thoughtfully at Charlie. Jasper turned to look at me and grinned.

"Well Bella, remember that we _are_ meant to be agents after all. We can go a _little_ bit faster and if he asks, we'll just act all mysterious and then hopefully he'll connect the dots when we tell him what we 'are'."

"Ha-ha so we are planning to tell him we are vampires after all?" Emmett laughed loudly and raised his voice above his previous whispering. Jasper punched him hard on his arm and glared at him with a look that could melt metal. Emmett grinned and shrugged. I glared at him as well and felt annoyance bubbling up inside of me. I suddenly remembered Charlie and looked at him briefly. He seemed to have completely missed Emmett's little outburst and I sighed in relief. He looked at me confusedly and I was suddenly nervous again.

"Erm...Just…happy to see you again. I haven't seen you much since Alice took over the world." Everyone grinned at my description of Alice and I probably would hear about it from her soon. Oh well, there's not much else she can do to me that she hasn't already.


	4. JPOV part of chap1

Agent training for dummies.

JPOV

"Dammit Jasper! Stop making me feel weird!" I smirked at Emmett. All I received in return was a glare as he restarted the game.

Emmett and I were currently playing some random video game Emmett picked out. I don't really pay attention to them. I much prefer messing with my 'brothers' feelings. While my attention was mainly focused on the game we were currently playing, I was very aware of the human girl upstairs, who was getting quite distressed. The human girl who has changed not only Edward, but the entire family. I admit, Edward has been altered the most. He no longer sits around merely existing. She has given him a reason to **live**. Which is definitely better than being the brooding, isolated poor excuse of a man he used to be. I cannot explain in words, how much he has changed since he met Bella. Even when he ran away to Alaska, to escape from the burning bloodlust, it was a welcome change.

And then he realised how he felt for her. That changed everything. The house was an emotional war field. Anger, sorrow, joy, love, jealousy, hatred, worry, frustration, longing and of course, lust from Emmett. I nearly broke down a few times because of it all. Then it just got too much for everyone. Our biggest fight as a family occurred. Personally, I think even if Edward hadn't risked exposure, it would've happened anyway. That was just another flame in the fire. But some of us had had enough.

Rosalie was the first to light the match. And that was all it took for the house to explode. Everybody had their own opinion. Not everybody spoke what they were truly thinking, but everybody was involved.

Obviously, Esme, our 'mother', was simply completely joyful. She already loved Bella, even without actually meeting her. She already saw Bella as her daughter. She already saw the positive changes in Edward. The light in his eyes when he spoke about her. The frequent smiles he produced more and more. The…life in him. That was all she really cared about. Not everybody saw it that way.

Especially not Rosalie. She saw Edward being an idiot for a pathetic human girl who could ruin everything. She hadn't felt the complete blackness that he felt because of what he was, day after day, until he met Bella. She hadn't noticed the change in Edward yet. I wish I could say that she was simply furious at Edward for risking exposure in front of all the humans, for one girl. But alas, that is not the whole reason. She was jealous. She was spiteful. She was just a bitch really. She couldn't stand the fact that Edward loved this random, completely plain girl. That even though she had the power to ruin everything they've gone through as a family, he still stuck by her. That he loved her more than he could ever love Rosalie. She didn't hold any romantic feelings towards him; she just holds a grudge from many years ago. When he didn't bow down immediately and worship her. Over years that went by, she assumed that he was gay. But then ruled that out over the fact that even if he was gay, he would notice how beautiful she was. So she simply thought that he was never to love anyone. Especially not a weak, human girl. So when she found out he did, but to a human girl that was hardly anything special, she was furious. Another reason she doesn't agree with her sister, she is very annoyed with Bella's choice to become one of us. She has always regretted losing the chance to have children, so when Bella voluntarily chose to forgo having that experience to become eternally frozen, she didn't understand and thought Bella was giving up her chance of happiness. Altogether, Rosalie was a whirlwind of emotions for a very long time. She was angry, confused and mainly, jealous. She tried to shield why she really felt that way, by pointing out the danger he caused by saving Bella, but I felt it. Again, I'm not saying that this is the whole reason why she disliked Bella. Rosalie doesn't like change. And a human **mate **is a rather large change for the family. Their was-still is so many risks that come with having a human companion. The volturi could find out, they could bite them out of an act of bloodlust and release a newborn into the world, or they could break the one major rule that exists in their world. Keep the secret. Don't let the humans know. And she gets that. And that's a major reason she dislikes their relationship. She still doesn't really understand fully. But she has noticed the new Edward. The playful, loving Edward. And she is trying to accept it. However, she still holds a small part of jealousy and hatred towards Bella. Until Bella is turned, I think that is how she will always feel.

Her husband however, couldn't care less if he tried. His emotions were similar to Esme's. He had seen the massive change in Edward, and he welcomed it in his own way. Which meant teasing him endlessly and attempting to calm Rosalie down. In his eyes, he gained a new sister. I think, sub-consciously, Bella was aware of this, and that was why she always seemed to be comfortable around him. After the brief 3 second panic Bella had when she saw him, she relaxed around him. She probably wasn't even aware of doing so, but she always felt somewhat cheerful when she see's him. It's like she knew he was going to be her big brother in every way, even though her brain hadn't caught up yet. He's even like a big brother to me, even though I am older than him. In Emmett's human life, he had a large family, and he welcomes anyone who he thinks is trustworthy. For example, when Alice and I turned up at their doorstep, asking to move in because we were to be family, he simply grinned and helped us keep Edward away from killing Alice. He always has had some sort of intuition about people. He knows if we should trust them or not. This is why the way he looks, is perfect for him. If he doesn't trust someone, he stands their and acts like a massive bodyguard. If he **does **trust them, he simply looks like a huge teddy bear. He's helpful when we are meeting new people. Carlisle always brings him for introductions, either as a hidden warning, or to help them trust him. Carlisle certainly can be cunning when he wants to be.

Carlisle is a lot of things to lots of different people. A husband, a father, a brother, a coven leader even an uncle to some of our very extended family. To me, he is very close between a father and a brother. However, to Edward, Carlisle is the reason he does everything he does. Edward is so afraid of disappointing him. He is probably the main reason Edward didn't kill Bella as soon as he smelt her. Carlisle is the sensible one, who gets us through everything. Carlisle is the mediator between everybody really. He was concerned about Edward's control originally, then he was worried and slightly annoyed over Edward's rather large risk at the school, then he was debating over whether or not Bella's and Edward's relationship is possible, and finally he just let it happen. He admitted that Bella has changed Edward for the greater good, and he couldn't take that happiness away from him. He is still concerned about Edward, but he has no worries about Bella. Obviously, he is concerned about Bella's safety in general, but he trusts Edward completely. She had unknowingly gained two parents even before Edward brought her home to meet us. She also gained a sister. A bouncy, hyper sister that is my wife.

My Alice. The first thing Alice did when she saw Bella was to hug her and tell her that she smelled nice. You really never can tell what she will do. Even Edward is sometimes blocked. She is such an eccentric, bubbly and sweet person, that I sometimes fear for Bella when she goes shopping. When we were arguing about Bella's involvement of Edward, she stuck by her visions, brother and future sister. Even before the rest of us knew anything was going to happen, Bella was already Alice's sister. Her visions are the most important thing she depends on. If she didn't have them, she probably wouldn't be the way she is today. I dread to think how my life would've continued if she hadn't found me. If she hadn't shown me another way of living. She and Edward are probably more like brother and sister than the rest of us. They just seemed to understand each other. Sometimes even more than I can tell. I have felt jealous over the connection they have in the past, but now I understand that it's just the way our family works. Yes, our family. It took me a fairly long time to realise we were in fact a family, not just a coven. Alice and Edward have a similar relationship that Rosalie and I do. I'm not saying that we act in anyway the same that our spouses do with each other, but we both are familiar with each other. After acting as brother and sister for a while, we both pick us things about each other. If one of us needs to be on our own, we basically tell everyone else to just go away. Rosalie and I are fairly alike in some ways. We both have a protective shield around us that we keep up a lot of the time. I admit Rosalie does make it more obvious than I, that she is not letting you any closer than needs to, otherwise she might just kill you. I simply do that subtly. If you are a vampire, you should be able to tell straight away that I'm not to be messed with. The scars that I have gathered over the years prove that. And my name still lingers in the south.

This is why I still have problems understanding why Bella is still here. I think I speak for everyone when I say, I expected her to run away screaming when she realised what we are. But she stayed. She stayed with Edward. And that alone astounds me. Where is her primal instinct that screams at her to run away? Why is the logical part of her brain not working? Not only did she trust us all absolutely, she still has un-ending faith in us. Even after she ended up in the hospital because one of our kind. Even after I tried to kill her. And to top it all off, even after we left her. She didn't care. She forgave us. Instantly. I still cannot wrap my head around it. At first, I simply told Edward to kill her if she was his singer.

I do believe that was a rather large mistake on my part.

Not only did I have a rather large conversation with Alice, I realise now what we would've missed if he actually listened to me. Edward would've been alone forever. He would go back to being isolated and brooding. Alice and Emmett would never gain the sister they wanted. Esme and Carlisle would never gain their daughter. Rosalie would never have a new understanding of humans. And I would never have gained a true sister. I refuse to say this out loud, in fear of getting seriously harmed by Rosalie, but she is a true sister. Rosalie is along the lines of a whiney, self-centred, strong woman. I realise she has had some tough times, but she always takes it out on the ones who surround her. Bella is the most forgiving, loyal, entertaining and odd person I have ever met. I can actually be a big brother to somebody. I never really thought about actually having a little sister until I met Bella. Obviously, I am still struggling with the bloodlust, but around Bella, it seems far easier. Not only because Edward automatically appears in my head as soon as I even start thinking about her blood, but because it would probably hurt me if I hurt her. I can't lose my sister. And that's what she is to me now.

She was always the missing part of our family. The lost jigsaw piece, that nobody even realised we needed until we had it.

"DUDE! Stop sending me your stupid emotions! Play fair!" I blinked as I crashed back down to earth. And as I crashed into the wall on the game. I looked over at Emmett as he glared at me. I smirked as I returned to normal and scoffed.

"Emmett, you really need to work on your 'scary face'. I've seen Bella look scarier then that." I chuckled as he scowled me, sending me waves of anger.

"Nuh uh. Bella is weak human GIRL. I am strong, muscle man! I crush you with my little finger! No WAY that Bells is scarier then me!" I raised an eyebrow at his over-exaggerated declaration. He flexed his muscles and posed several times in return.

"Wow. Yeah. Woo. Now you've done with your Tarzan speech, can we carry on playing?" He charged at me just after I ducked out of the way. He turned around and glowered at me.

"Fine, let's play the stupid game. No cheating this time! I'm sick of falling in love with the characters." I laughed and sat down next to him. He was staring at the screen, when he suddenly felt mischievous. I narrowed my eyes at him and turned back to the screen. Just as the countdown stopped and I started to set off, Emmett shoved me on my arm causing me to press random buttons by mistake. I growled in annoyance as my car crashed into the wall once more. I was just about to charge at Emmett, when I was overcome with sadness. I stared at my crashed car on the screen, and felt like crying.

What the hell?

I glanced over at Emmett, who hadn't noticed my change in moods, and was currently winning by a whole lot. Where had all this sadness come from? There's only me and Emmett he-

Oh. I automatically looked up at the ceiling, at where my human sister was currently sat, feeling over-whelming sadness. I mentally berated myself for forgetting about her and not noticing her drastic change in emotions. I stood up as I decided to go check on her, and Emmett still hadn't noticed. Wow, what an observant fool. I walked past him, and hit him on the back of his head, annoyed that he had been paying even less attention to Bella then me. He became aware of his surroundings, and turned to me angrily and surprised. I shook my head, sighed and continued on my way to the stairs.

As I climbed the stairs, I heard some quiet sniffling. The closer I got to Edward's room, the more emotion I felt. As I stood in front of the door, I could smell the salty smell of tears. I slowly opened the door and almost staggered back at the amount of grief, longing and guilt I felt coming from the small human. I looked at her across the room, as she was curled up on Edward's sofa, curious as to what could possibly make her feel this way.

"Bella? What on earth are you thinking about that is making you feel so upset?" I held back laughter as I made her jump. Humans are so very un-observant. There is a dangerous predator in the room watching them, and they don't even notice.

Bella sat up and wiped her eyes. She's surprised to see she was crying. How could she not realise she was crying? Why was she even crying? I look worriedly at her, and walk over to her, all the while not focusing on the blood pumping through her veins. It's getting easier and easier every day to be closer to Bella. I stop in front of her and kneel down, slowly enough so that she can see. I look into her eyes, still curious as to why they hold so much pain. I decided to attempt to cheer her up. She should be celebrating her so called 'freedom' now that Alice is not here to bury her under wedding details.

"What's the matter? You were feeling fine but slightly stressed and then all of a sudden you were overwhelmingly upset. I was playing a video game with Emmett and suddenly felt very sad for the man I just squished with my car." I feel slightly successful when she chuckles weakly and her pain lessens slightly. But then she sighs and feels guilty. What now? She attempts to smile at me, but it looks more like a grimace. At the same time, I notice the game downstairs is paused and Emmett is surprisingly quiet. I guess he is listening to see what's wrong with Bella. I turn back to Bella as she opens her mouth to speak, waiting for her to tell me why she still feels like this.

"I'm ok Jasper. I'm just…thinking." Oh well that explains everything doesn't it? Is she being purposefully irritating? I suddenly realise how annoying it must be for Edward, when he cannot read her mind. I cannot imagine how I would feel if I couldn't feel her emotions. But I can, and I realise Bella is still quite upset over something. I try to remove all her current painful emotions, and replace it with happiness. It's surprisingly hard, but I manage it. Bella smiles properly at me and I sigh silently in relief. All her sadness was quite suffocating.

"Thanks Jasper. You can go though, really. I'll probably be no fun. And I don't want you to hurt because of me." I hold back an eye roll and grin at her immediate worry about me, when she should be worried about herself.

"No Bella, I want to spend some time with my little sister while you aren't with Edward or Alice. By the way, the pain? Totally inconsequential when it comes to hanging out with you. And besides, Emmett is losing so badly, it's almost no fun to pummel him today." I can't hold back a smirk at Emmett's low growl downstairs. Honestly, he can't take one little insult to make his little sister happy.

"Jasper, why don't you bring her downstairs? She can race against the champ!" I grin as I hear Emmett's quiet muttering. I grab Bella's hand and she looks at me curiously.

"Let's go find something fun to do! There's no way you're spending your two days of freedom, sat there 'thinking'." I pulled her to her feet half expecting her to deny my offer, and was surprised when she came willingly. I held back a grin as Emmett started the game again. From what I can hear, he's attempting to drive both his and mine cars. And failing quite badly at it apparently.

Bella and I walked into the room, to see Emmett kill some poor on screen person, as he let go of one of the controllers briefly to play with the other one properly. A few seconds too long. I laughed as Emmett cursed under his breath, and Bella joined in as she saw what he was doing. We both sat down and continued watching him, snickering none too quietly, as he lost several times. Since we had come downstairs, two minutes ago, he had lost four times. His anger kept building, until he crashed for the last time, growled, and threw one controller at the wall while crushing the other in his grip. This caused both of us to finally burst out laughing at his childish antics. He turned angrily at our outburst, but as he saw Bella completely changed from how she was minutes ago, he grinned heartily and stood up.

"Hello Bella. Have you come to test your skills of car racing?" I laughed under my breath at Bella even imagining driving fast on a video game, let alone in reality.

"No, she's not. I don't think Bella is a fan of high speeds." I glanced at Bella to see her raising an eyebrow at me amusedly. "She prefers to actually drive _under_ the speed limit!" I gasped in mock horror…well, mostly mock horror anyway.

Bella smirked at me and shrugged her shoulders. Emmett rolled his eyes and spun his finger next to his ear, mouthing 'cuckoo' to me. I shook my head amusedly in return and grinned. Bella turned to look at me, so I quickly wiped the grin off my face and spoke to Emmett.

"She was actually looking for something to do. She was sat there, just staring outside." I sensed her gratitude for not telling him that she was crying. Unfortunately for Bella, even if Emmett hadn't heard her crying, or smelt her tears, we could see the slowly drying tear tracks, which would be hidden to human eyes. Emmett glanced quickly at said tracks, before grinning again, attempting to cheer his sister up.

"Soooo…what? You wanna play a video game? We do have a large choice." I assumed Bella would deny him and sit back quietly and watch like every other time he asks, but instead she stood up curiously and walked over to the selection of games we had collected over the years. Emmett must've been shocked too, as he raised an eyebrow in my direction and glanced worriedly at Bella. Something must not be right if she's playing video games with us.

"Agent training for dummies? Whose is this?" I blinked confusedly at Bella's strange question. What was that? Agent training for dummies? What the hell? Who would _make _that book let alone buy it?

Emmett and I shrugged confusedly. He suddenly looked at me while grinning and whispered at a speed Bella wouldn't have heard.

"Wanna have some fun? We can cheer Bells up while having some fun agent style‼" I automatically grinned. Not only because of Emmett's enthusiasm (which could rival Alice's) exploding in me, but because I was excited. The last time we did something like this, a school got closed down, Emmett nearly got arrested and our wives refused to talk to us for a week. But it was all so worth it. I nodded quickly and stood up while humming mission impossible. Seriously, if I'm gonna have fun, I'm gonna do it right.

Emmett snatched his phone quickly and opened it, narrowing his eyes as he looked around comically.

"Agent Jazzy, come in. I repeat, agent Jazzy come in." I saw Emmett grin at Bella as I scowled angrily at him. He **knows **that Alice is the only person who can call me Jazzy. I crossed my arms and stopped humming and spoke to Emmett.

"You can't call me Jazzy. Only Alice can do that." He rolled his eyes and shrugged his shoulders.

"Yes, but you're not _just _Jazzy now are you? You're agent Jazzy. There's a big difference." I sighed as I saw Bella smile amusedly and Emmett do the same. I nodded reluctantly and shrugged. I held back a smirk as I thought of what Emmett's name could be. I tried to remember anything good from all the agent films I had seen, and remembered a few things. I held my jacket near my mouth, like I'd seen people do many times.

"Agent Jazzy here, what's going down Agent M&M?" I smirked and stifled the urge to say 'ha' back to Emmett. Wow, Emmett really does bring out my childish side. Emmett scowled at his given name and I smirked even more. But he quickly got over it, and tilted his head in Bella's direction. I cocked my head to the side in confusion ever so slightly, but understood when I heard Emmett talking.

"I found the incredibly weird danger magnet! She seems to look slightly amused and confused. She's probably under strict instructions not to do anything at all remotely fun." I shook with silent laughter at Bella's clueless face.

"Yes, the evil Eduardo has brainwashed her into doing anything he says!" I laughed silently as comprehension appeared on Bella's face, and she scowled at us both.

"I do not do anything he says!" Emmett and I snickered loudly at Bella's annoyance and shook our heads in disagreement. I stopped laughing as a rare emotion developed inside Bella. One that she rarely feels when around us; playfulness.

She turned around with her back to us, and I heard her put her hand in her pocket. I grinned at her enjoyable emotions, and looked at Emmett as he did the same.

"Agent Jazzy, she appears to be annoyed by us. Maybe we are not being super fun after all." I felt Bella's excitement and happiness as she turned around, wiping a grin off her face and acting seriously. I nearly laughed out loud at her attempt to keep her face as stoic as possible, and failing badly. But I couldn't keep it in as I heard her next words.

"Ok, busters. I have no idea why you are talking through phones, when I can clearly hear you and you can hear each other. You really should've thought that through." Emmett and I grinned, stifling a laugh at her complete change in mood, and her actually **using **the word 'busters'. But as she raised her eyebrow in mock-seriousness, we couldn't hold back our amusement and burst out laughing.


End file.
